Hello there! My name is Julia. I am fourteen years old. I am a freshmen attending high school and public school for the first time this year. I had to start all over. Make entirely new friends (save for one I already knew).

My friend Emily used to live across the street from me (she now lives about a mile away, but we're still really good friends). Emily had a falling out with all of her friends who would be freshmen with us.She started to hang around people from her church. Mostly a bunch of older guys. One day she called me and wanted me to go to her youth group meeting I went and met some of her friends that were already at Athens. Her friend Zack asked for my screen name.

Zack and I talked online a lot and saw each other occasionally. I also became friends with some of the other guys. Long story short, we're now dating and have been for nearly 3 months.

My new friends are all excellent people with good sets of morals and they are all very smart and talented. I love them all and I love school.

What a freaking fairytale. Seriously, does that NOT sound like some sort of fantasy life or what?!?!?! But it's all true, I'm a wonderfully blessed person and maybe I'm just feeling so grateful because it' thanksgiving (happy turkey day to all!).

However, I sort of suffer (unofficially) from anxiety. I'm always a nervous wreck and go insane over the littlest things. So I'm not always so appreciative. I argue with my parents a lot and contemplate all the awful things in the world. My head has been known to fabricate its own problems.

I am no longer on speaking terms with most of the people who were at my catholic school. This is why I spent my whole summer nervous. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop worrying. I thoguht for sure that high school would be awful. and maybe that's why I love it so much. It was nowhere near as bad as my expectations.

Not to downplay the amazingness of my friends and boyfriend.

But I worry about that, too. I have all sort of crazy nightmares. Mostly crazy nightmares about Zack. I've had nightmares where he's blown up one of my best friends and another where he got me pregnant (which is insane because Zack is very religiously oriented and believes firmly in abstainance).

I love to write and often it's the only thing that keeps me truly sane. Well, I not truly sane. But sometimes it makes me truly calm.

This is not my first blog. The first one was ruined by my friend Ryan, who laughed at it (he's not always the best person in the world). I was hurt by that and moved to a different blog stie. I was not going to let him or Zack read it (Zack read my old blog too). However, Ryan found it and spent at least two weeks pretending to be a reader of my blog. That's so stalker-esque. Wouldn't you agree?

Zack respected my privacy and didn't read it until I gave him my permission. I'm sort of concerned about the direction of our relationship. We've set ver clear physical limits on our relationship...but with the amount of making-out you'd think that there would be an "I love you". I don't want him to say it if he doesn't mean it, but I think that they should be somewhat parrallel.

Like I said, I'm crazy wtih worry.

I've been feeling a little homesick. I hated catholic school and the whole time I was there, I wanted nothing to do with it. I received a scholarship to the high school, but threatened to flunk out, so my parents agreed to let me turn it down.

I passed up a schedule comprised mainly of honors courses. I passed up a secure position in my friendships and social status. I passed up roles in plays and musicals (the priest's favorite, he called my mother when he heard I wasn't going to the catholic school to try and persuade her to send me with flattery and more scholarships...it didn't work). 

I miss the security.

Well, crap happens.

Could someone please leave me a comment? Especially if they like bacon and mushroom pizza, I can't seem to find anyone else who does.

You'll hear more crazy stuff from me later that I have yet to tap into, so stick around.